With so much love

I received two sad news on the same day, last week. One was shared with mostly Malaysians and another one was shared with my Aikol colleagues. These two news dispense the mournfulness the same. I am still attached to them and feeling just like the rest. I don’t think this will tear along with days, and easily forgotten. I don’t think so. We are all recovering, hoping and praying for the better of everyone – some parents, some siblings, a lot of relatives, circles of friends and colleagues who are deeply affected.

To Fahmie Mustafa and Adam Rayqal, you both will see each other in the heaven I pray.

Aside from the hatred and anger thrown to the babysitter, one thing that I cannot comprehend, on how easy she made all this happened. When the phone call made to Adam’s father claiming that the baby was kidnapped, I think, she had before practiced the lines and didn’t think of the consequences at all. And the simplest consequence in my context, is the involvement of police when a missing baby is reported. How could she be so dumb?

I also tried to consider some people’s reasoning – setting up themselves to default and claimed all this happened due from an accident, which then triggered her to store the baby in freezer – eventually my mind couldn’t manage the overwhelming half-baked creed so I decided to stick with intentional homicide.

Intentional homicide on a 5-months old baby. How lunatic.

I for the first time, has officially upgraded my status in family to an auntie since three months ago after my eldest sister gave birth to Adam Al-Fateh. Since then, I’ve been living with the baby in the same house, taking care of him like his own mother, monitoring his milestones day by day, be extremely thrilled when he giggles and shows his dimples. I guess I am the typical sparky auntie who is never bored of a newborn. One Sunday, two weeks ago, we heard a loud scream from my sister’s bedroom. Adam fell from bed. Allah must be very generous to us and gave us all one great chance to take care of this precious better. Nothing happened to Adam but the guilt never yet escapes from our mind till now.

When my friends and I shared the news, the first question struck us was, “How could she… It’s a baby…” Erratic. When I first read it, I read the lines repetitively, wasn’t sure if I got the gist of it. Although the video and pictures must have had an inkling to tell me what it was all about, but I kept my brain in denial. I started to think the emotions of the parents, the miserable shaking the mom had to tote, the comforts the family wanted to listen, the suffer, sadness and just erratic receipt. Until now, they must have finding this difficult even to get from one minute to the next, then promptly burst into tears – possibly a crying jags whenever they look at his son’s photos, clothes, toys and anything that reminds  them of their son.

So, whenever anyone of you, woman especially, would like to make any silly remarks about this, please remember the sadness these people are going through. I would love to quote a phrase from a friend named Fairuz Ayuni, “During this testing time, women should empower each other, instead of being mean and judgemental.”

Because ladies, it is not easy.

I might not be in the position to suggest anything but to the families of Fahmie Mustafa and Adam Rayqal, I hope you can get a head down and grab a little shut-eye after all these tiring days. I pray that you all will be better.

Truthfully, with so much love,

Sheriel Aizan