Everything

I laugh hysterically now when people tell me, "Good things happen to those who wait". Honestly, I have been in a lot of situations before that happy chances simply disappeared because of the long waiting period I shouldn't had done at the first place. That one, was among the biggest mistakes I ever did for myself. Last week, I spent at least an hour putting my best friend's newborn to sleep. It was a successful achievement. I started to feel awfully old from that moment, a little wise and indefinite. I want to be inclined to pull up thick stockings and paste weird smell paste on my forehead. I want to be breathless over "Johny Johny Yes Papa". I want myself to be omnipresent. I want to experience purging myself of sour milk, urinous nappies, bits of lint and the loving slovenliness of motherhood. I want. But the question is, how? Sorry. But the questions are - how, when and who? I should wait? Again?

Kata surat khabar, kita ini gambaran jelas erti perpaduan. Namun surat khabar tak khabarkan perpaduan semacam apa. Perpaduan pura-pura atau perpaduan sempurna? Di takah perpaduan yang tiada perincian, kita senang. Yang bercanggah, kita buat tak endah. Yang konco, kita bikin hancor. Perpaduan kita murah namun tak pernah kita tanya berapa mahal harga perpaduan yang sebenar. "Jangan kan 60 tahun, 600 tahun merdeka pun belum tentu kami mengalah. Tetap hak kami, walau basi sampai mati, ketuanan takkan lari." Kata surat khabar lagi, kita contoh kepada yang lain atas sebab kepelbagaian yang wujud. Kepelbagaian itu kita raikan namun tak ada kesanggupan. Kita diberi cuti atas sambutannya namun keliru yang sebenar pengertiannya. Kepelbagaian kita bersifat madu dan sepah. Ada manisnya kita telan tapi sepahnya kita tak kenal. "Sudah tiba masa Tok Batin bawa keluar puaknya ke laluan besar. Bagi kenal beza tanah merah dengan jalan tar." Surat khabar j...