Everything

....... and Instagram too! Since you last saw me, it's been bye, bye Blackberry!  Because they say let the pictures speak for themselves. *winking

Yes and No are the obvious answers. Definite, precise and certain. However sometimes in some questions, it suddenly seems ridiculous that the No part should be to do with the doubts that Yes manages to instill in me. So, I errr... However too, sometimes too, in some questions too, I lost my words. I don't know what to say. I suppose it is a quick one to choose between Yes and No. It doesn't take long to say Yes or No. But I've got a feeling it's going to take more than five minutes for me to get round and take turn to ask questions as well. So, what else can I do besides errr...?

So, outside of works and hell, what’s new? If you’re following me on Twitter or Instagram or both, you’d know that my mama had undergone uterus removal surgery which the experts call as Hysterectomy. Blame the greatest oblivious of the medical world inside me; I mistakenly thought it was cervical removal. For the misleading information, I am sorry. It started with when she suffered this prolonged menstrual period and urination incontinence where it was totally debilitating. I found that it's crucial to see a doctor and get an advise because it was getting worse each day just like the bladder lost its control. Several times occasionally she couldn't get to the toilet in time just after she sneezed or coughed or laughed. So on one balmy day, she finally agreed with me accompanying her for a consultation. FINALLY. There were actually some dramas along the spin, primary because we sneaked out from the house and kept it secret from abah. That was because abah will get himse...

Mind the plot and theme; I disclaim the causes to get you mindfucked. I controlled my middle finger with an effort, smiled with calm regret and stepped back out into my private space called cubicle. I should have guessed before ever started here that, this is definitely a tough fight. Mr. Chen is our boss. We actually have two bosses here in the office, doesn’t mean we disregard the other one but the major business operation here is conveyancing whilst the other one is doing litigation. Get the picture? Back to Mr. Chen, he has this ‘island hair’, long face, and firm body except having slightly flabby gut. Some brains, some attitude and a severe substance abuse problem. (Assuming you can call a jargon a substance; it does have the same life-threatening consequences anyways). I have killed Mr. Chen in my dreams a thousand times. Sometimes I use a gun, sometimes a knife and sometimes my bare fists, but the end is always a happy one. The scenes on every single day mo...

Tomorrow is coming, moves in, moves on ... and so is gone, joins yesterday It will never come by this way again Time does not stand still Nor does tomorrow come in, move out ... and then rest It keeps going And everyday it's further away. Honest truth about reality, time flows. Sheriel Aizan Taman Tun Dr. Ismail Nov 10 5.22pm

There is a before and there is an after. There is a day, a moment when, abruptly, one life ends and another begins as a matter of fact and nature and everybody knows it. But, what we do not comprehend, when, without one even realising what is going on, life has became 'other' and you make yourself alienated. A watershed. "Ya Allah. He was only twenty-five." Until today, the words repeat themselves in my head like a mantra. But sure enough age is not included in neither death specification or dictum nor recorded in any of Allah's speech in Quran and Hadith of the Prophet. But little did I know death acceptance can make one lives catastrophically. It's hard and people might have judged me for putting the best smile-make-up. Bizarrely, the echoes of our last conversation that night filter through my head, everyday. " Remember not to delete all my texts. You'll be missing me a lot when I'm gone ". Yea, nothing but the truth. W...

I can't remember who owns the idea of a sweet gathering and picnic but however we successfully made it and it was at Putrajaya. Honestly, Putrajaya was not exactly a place I would want to go for a memorable catching up session. Because, I don't know. I had several times just unfortunate lost in Putrajaya since there are so many signboards and roads, 'Precint' here and there and there's no U-turn. However, I have to dismiss all the negative thoughts about it after a fête champêtre at Taman Wetland. Our journey began with me picking up Izyan at Sungai Buloh and the rest at Bandar Tasik Selatan LRT station. We headed to Kuncup's house after that and everything was just as smooth as we expected. Alhamdulillah. On our way to Kuncup's house at Bangi. We reached Taman Wetland at 12.30pm and found a beautiful small garden hut facing a swan lake. Just perfect. There was blue sky, there was sun, there were foods of course. There were all the people I ...

Driving to work today, I listened to HOT FM morning crew which’s similar to other radio stations, this one also has the morning topic to moot every day. I don’t fancy listening to radio actually but I left my playlist at home and I need music to distract my mind from the cracked traffic. So today’s topic was “Kenapa kau unfollower orang kat Twitter?” . I honestly thought it was a wise subject to be discussed for some reasons:- 1) I am on Twitter and I’ve seen a bunch of crazy people tweeting (insulting and derogatory) others religions, races and cultures. 2) I just hate all the Public Displays of Affection (PDA) couple who I can say almost 24 hours they have exhausted other means of communications (meeting up personally/phone/texting). 3) A person starts bashing an idiot and within an hour the bashes snowball. I don’t understand the excitement of doing such thing because that just reflects how stupid you are (as well). 4) People who write on their walls deliberately...

Actually I don't know what it feels like to bite an amalgam but that's the best expression I could transpire now. "Sher, don't you realize that working here with these people really bring the other side of you that you couldn't imagine before?" That's true, Tona. I cursed a lot and ofttimes I couldn't handle the anger so I went to the restroom and cried. I even asked myself where has the resilient and cold me gone? This place and the people have put me through the ample severe depressions these days and they are just lack of conscience and empathy. I lose weight and weekends just seem non-existent since the past few months. This is insane. I understand how some people have always said, “This is the real working life. Suck it up.” But, really? Blame me for expecting a pleasant working atmosphere whereas the entire of it condensed close to a mental torture institution. I know how some works are really important and require immediate ac...

All the miniatures present luxury For the people with big money Old uncles’ hands at the back Gentlemen with tacked leather bag As long as they bring cash in the compact Blimey! I forgot about the cheque I’m standing behind the glass door What they call sales, no one arrives Maybe it’s my short and ten bucks slippers So it’s a plastic world we’re living in? Pigeonholes and judgmental are still exist? Blimey! It is the twentieth century Million dollars business is here They seem not interested with the slippers So everything is all about blazer and glitters? I smirk and make my move My deposit sixty thousand eight hundred and cents ten I… ….. shall save for my lagoon

I went to Starbucks just now for a Green Tea Latte and the barista asked my name so he could write it on the cup. I hate it when people screw up my name by pronouncing it wrong or ask “with the e or the i? ” and I had quite a few times of experience having people ended up calling me “Kak Cik” or “Kak Long” just to make their lives easier, so I decided to go for a dubiously generic English name, “It’s Suzy.” And the boy asked me, “With the i or the y ?” I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically. He looked at me, dumbfounded. So I just told him, “It’s Sheriel actually.” He looked at me with a slight frown and a twisted smile. “You wanted to give me something simpler to write down, are you? Sorry that I screwed up that one as well.” I burst out laughing and so did he. Guess what. This time someone has made it. SHERIEL with a smile.

I have composed this post since the last few months and in which I don't have any idea why it remained in the drafts until I found out about it five minutes ago. So yes, what happened in February was: Sometimes when I am stressed, I like to organize things superfluously like re-arranging or alphabetizing my books because it gives me this great sense of order, a pleasing feeling of triumph and so I would pretend that that actually applies to my life. Ceh. This time, the factor was not “I am stressed” but my youngest sister is at home for semester break so she thought of doing something useful besides utilizing every second by being a couch potato. We had so much fun, long story short we made it! Now feeling tired and achey. Till then. Bye. p/s: My father just took out one book from the shelf and did not put it back in the right order. Haih.

I was screening through all the written pages in my organizer when I found this (notes below) illegibly jotted down on the page of 28 th February, 2014. “Friday the 28 th . I will be waving you in a few hours, February. Till we meet again. You have been treating me not really good. Sandwich works, problems after problems, arse environment and the pessimism continues. But really, I am glad and proud of myself that I survived quite well until the end of it (6:12 pm now). Oh yes, tell me one thing. Does a month really affect humans with its characters? Do all months have their own characters at the first place? So the characters will influence the norms and routines? ............................ Bye, February.”

I have just picked up one spiritual ritual in my life: every morning I would check all the medias available to learn and keep in touch with the news of MH370 that went missing while I was sleeping on the night of March 8, 2014. And this kind of obsession for the unfolding spectacle will never end until the plane is found. However, I have learnt more that the Internet, the two-ton gorilla of global media and communications can be disgusting, sickening and gruesome to some extents. The notion that people believe the Internet sets us free and permits everyone to communicate effectively, hence undermining the truth. The fact that everyone in the world can now be an author, photographer, videographer and publisher, creates some unwelcome gossips and speculations. First, I cannot believe the analysis on CNN; it’s disturbing to the max. This one global conglomerate is also obsessed, clamoring for information with more hypotheses and wacko theories of their own. CNN once question...

Assalamualaikum. We meet again! Three or four days ago or is it last week, (I scarcely remember things in details recently) while me and Bubbs were having a tête-à-tête, I noticed he kept saying about his diet determination. It struck me a lot so I said, “You’re not that fat” and he frazzled, “Sheriel Aizan, I have high blood pressure.” Jaw-dropped.                     We went to register for gym the next day. (It’s definitely a thing now. My Twitter timeline has been flooded with photographs of friends working out with steels and treadmill.) This is without doubt for the sake of friendship and health. People who know me well would come up to say, “ Biar betik Sheriel pergi gym. Lari pusing satu UIA merungut berkajang! ” Liddat. It’s not that everybody else is doing gym to swank, I mean some go for the shaping and guys want the six packs, some consume the protein, some have been...

Assalamualaikum. It is February now, in the mid of it. Having myself wearing with all the sandwich works, I have to admit there were times I wished I could be a couch potato, not having any troubles to sit from 9 am until 6 pm and tell you I had once got nauseating from reading too much, a surreal mix of migraine and fraught. Not funny at all. The on-going efforts to find money have been giving me a lot to learn and those cannot be closely equalled to what my father has done to feed us. Yes, seeing that I should shut the grumps up and be more truthful in what I am doing to live. Entah apa aku tengah cakap. Kerja banyak. Tengok tu, complain lagi.