The Wall Tapping

“They were as obdurate as rocks. I have always observed that the female, who seems to have been made for tenderness, and piety, and moral courage, when really depraved and fallen, is not only the wickedest, but the hardest and unmanageable of beings.” – James Bradley Finley

Object A.

Object A who has always been admired by people around her for her kindness, pretty face and independence burst out one day that she was ready to get married. She was known single-handedly for more than 7 years after a miserable breakup with someone cleped Babun. 15 years ago, when I was in school, Object A came to visit me at school with Babun. I hated Babun immediately after saw him for the first time. Babun proved to me and Object A’s family that he is a Babun indeed when he defrauded Object A’s father of money worth 10,000 Ringgit. Babun after that left Object A without any explanation. Just like Baboon, his razor-sharp canines left deep scar and it is not something easily forgiven by everyone. Object A suffered crestfallenly and dramatically later, left her family and moved to Seremban.

Fast forward to 7 years later, Object A revealed the happy news to everyone. We were more than contended, thinking that our beloved Object A has finally moved on from her past. The engagement was held in brisk and lively with attendance from hundreds of people – relatives from near and afar, neighbors and good friends. People came to greet her, took pictures with her and prayed for her because besides Object A, everybody who knew her, not just knowing herself but also her life and stories. Some months after, came the serious meeting between parents of future groom and bride to decide on the wedding date. Object A’s father was surprised to know that at that moment, the fiancé was not working, told blatantly by his parents. All these while, Object A and family were deceived. This time around, the father thought of applying mercy and compassion consideration. Object A’s father told the fiancé to find a decent job before the wedding and to show to him that the fiancé is capable of taking care his precious daughter. The father granted him a great value of chance, priced his own child.

From time to time, the fiancé received extremely absolute support from Object A’s family, considering that he will be part of the family soon and just like everybody else, he should not be forsaken. Coming to the biggest day of her life, Object A shook more like a maple leaf but she could not differentiate whether it was a good sign or a bad one. She begged to God, “Make this person a person I am worth to him and he is worth to me. Make this person to discover the best in me and I too to discover the best in him. Make this person a person I deserve to respect and I always respect him. But God, if this person is not someone worth to me, never has interest to explore the best me nor he respects me, show me the light.”

To this date, Object A and husband have been married for a year with one son. During more than twelve months, husband changed job twice. It is also obvious that Object A sighs around us often. Due to husband’s bad working attitude, husband frequently throws tantrum at home with deep vexation and annoyance. Such work problem contributes to poor household management, especially fulfilling to wife and son’s needs. Understanding husband’s difficulty, Object A’s family has been tolerating and letting them stay with the family until the husband can afford a better home. Object A has been keeping all the tensions to herself, worse blamed herself of such incapability to comfort husband's emotions and struggle. She told me that she is the biggest disappointment to her husband. Sadly, husband has no sense of appreciation nor he tries to fix this situation. With one child now, he simply neglects his responsibility as a father cum a husband, as he knows whatever happens Object A's family is here to provide the necessity. Object A starves for husband's affection, attention and approval yet receives nothing. Object A is deeply exhausted, depleted and worn.

Throughout my life to this date, I knew a lot of women who were mistreated badly in marriage, either by the husband, in-laws, environment, economic and politics. This rising rate of women’s incarceration in their marriage and the abuse make it imperative of this story to be told. Rarely, the understatement of this typical case has not been exceptionally focused, unless you are a celebrity and being featured in Melodi every Sunday. Object A is a living testimony to counteract what husbands in Malaysia have been thinking - of their supremacy and alpha male power. There are worse cases, sadly unheard, unusually clear interplayed between perception among society members and the doctrine of submission to husbands.

Reflecting people’s views on such mistreatments on social media, I feel strange to admit that these women are put under the concrete ground to be stepped and disrespected. With the constant perception and negative doctrine, these women now are recognized as objects of interest.

I hold no grudges to anyone’s husbands neither I wish bad things to happen to them, but the conscience in me prays for all women’s happiness and this suffer shall now stop.

And to Object A, remember your prayer to God? It is now the time to make justice, especially to your child.