Resolving my new determination

I laugh hysterically now when people tell me, "Good things happen to those who wait". Honestly, I have been in a lot of situations before that happy chances simply disappeared because of the long waiting period I shouldn't had done at the first place. That one, was among the biggest mistakes I ever did for myself.

Last week, I spent at least an hour putting my best friend's newborn to sleep. It was a successful achievement. I started to feel awfully old from that moment, a little wise and indefinite. I want to be inclined to pull up thick stockings and paste weird smell paste on my forehead. I want to be breathless over "Johny Johny Yes Papa". I want myself to be omnipresent. I want to experience purging myself of sour milk, urinous nappies, bits of lint and the loving slovenliness of motherhood.

I want. But the question is, how? Sorry. But the questions are - how, when and who? I should wait? Again?

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