I can’t comprehend when friends I used to loaf with suddenly pass me up and the smile I give got an awkward reply. I don’t understand why and totally puzzled. And, usually it happens abruptly with different people but those who are connected to each other. So, I suspect there’s must be something.
Perhaps the blameworthiness is on my part, spot it or not. But as I am just a human being like you, I suppose you to come and meet me personally, telling me the harm I caused you and the wound I could heal. But, nothing and no one ever has the guts to brazen it out. So, which part should I know how to apologize and make things better? Please tell me that.
Or is it any rumor scatters all over the place that the reactions you give you think justified enough on my part? Still, you have no right to do so since I have my own right to be heard. Somehow the old maxim, “Kalau tiada angin masakan pokok bergoyang” is not a positive testimony, you know. That uncertainty of hearsay cannot be used against me as you cannot prove anything. What is more the bad-mouthing you people play the role without me doubting it, trigger me deep hurt yet I still take a crack at smiling and texting you, asking for lunch together even though no clear-cut between us. For you it might be nil but me look as it is one of my best shots.
I cannot prevent myself but thinking about this too much. Yea true that I have any other friends including they who thoroughly concern about me but you were dear to me once, so why things should change? I’ve met different types of friends and seldom people bring out the warmth of friendship that is in me and they who respond to me feel the same way. That people including you. Well before, we felt rich, bubbling with our latest news, stories, jokes, and ideas, whatever. We listened to each other and told almost the same things all over again. We had argued like ‘mad’ though; criticize each other’s work with honesty born of respect and concern. We could talk about everything, for our mind works in the same crazy way and an hour we felt like just a minute. Don’t you feel the same?
To tell the truth, I am not doing this to catch your empathy or else people’s support; that insensible tactic to own someone’s benevolence since this seems my last resort on cracking this. Just, I want you to know that I miss you and I am sorry for any misconstrues, set us off to a wretched state of affairs. I cannot shove things to be like we were before but a hope at least you will take this into account.
'And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one another; they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong' (9:71)