Alhamdulillah, I'm doing all well and am in the best of health and wish the same for you, insya Allah.
There will be one time, we come face to face with death. I don't know whether it is going to be a pleasant surprise but telling that to people, we'll be only pulling their legs. At this juncture in our lives that we are forced, literally forced by the Grace of the Creator, to see and be a witness to the fragility of life itself, and how ill equipped we are, should a final exit occur to the wretched souls?
Then that we are made to see how little we know who really we are and what we stand for.
I read Contengan Jalanan by Hlovate and Izzah gave me another book that I discovered that pretty inspiring, Versus. Throughout the all pages I flicked, I read, I swallowed, I fathomed and I cried by confessing all the truth and bitterness of being slack. So many things directly plugging me that I realized what we've learnt in life we treat them as vain yet we complain for not be given any Hidayah. So, what we actually contribute to HIM as a sign of gratitude? Nothing! Sighhh
HE loves HIS creation more than they can even love themselves. What I'm trying to say, people find it so damn difficult to love ALLAH of their own selves, so how can you sing about love to another mortal? Can love be made independent from whence it comes from? And how could one consider such love true and whole?
Telling one simply 'I love you' without taking into consideration the spiritual implications of this feeling, to my mind, is not only cheap, it's also suicidal, if the reality of that love excludes the reality of its Source. Yes, love Allah first, then you'll find the ultimate happiness in love.
I also feel I've every right to change and make choices, not only for myself but for the sake of someone that had nurtured me inside of her for nine whole months, I won't give up, without a fight, to a life of turmoil, the kind of life that I should always strive and struggle to understand the purposes of living till at one point, I could smile without any burden on my shoulders when I meet HIM there, with her holding my hand.
Truth is, we simply can't go back to the kind of trauma that split us from the right path. It's a matter of life and death. HE says:
"I am as MY servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of ME. If he makes mention of ME to himself, I make mention of him to MYSELF; and if he makes mention of ME in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly better than it. And if he draws near to ME a hand's span, I draw near to him an arm's length; and he draws near to ME an arm's length, I draw near to him a fathom's length. And if he comes to ME walking, I go to him at speed."
Thank you Hlovate. Thank you Izzah. Thank you everyone. Let's think hard and start the journey today. Amin...