I say No to your quest!


"Ya Allah, budah bertuah ni dah besaq! Awat senyap ja? Berubah betoi anak hang dari dulu!”

I was smiling and nodding for the same statement given by different people all over the ‘kampung’.

“Angah mengaji kat mana la ni?”

“UIA Gombak.” Still smiling.

“Padan lah pun! Tie, anak hang berubah betoi lah! Hang bagi makan apa?” And all the makcik-makcik and pakcik-pakcik were laughing out of breath, “Cik Pah, Angah makan nasi lah.”

“Angah ada marka dah ka?” Cik Pah started her inspection.

“Mestilah ada! Hang tanya soklan pa dia Pah hoi?! Biaq Cik Mat teka! Budak mengaji sama dengan hang lah kan, Angah? Budak UIA jugak lah kan?” Cik Pah’s husband, Cik Mat.

I was just smiling. In our custom, I grew up in the community that reveled in graceful small talk. You know. A girl would never say anything about her boyfriend to older people. That sounds really not a civil-Malay-spoken. Besides, who really wants to approve that ‘boyfriend’ term, one of life ordinances to shield youngsters from any contagions. Better to conceal those romantic parts into a piece of given diary.

“Uih, ada ka tak ada?”

“Tak ada Cik Mat. Kenapa Cik Mat tanya?” I noticed my Mama was musing with thousand meanings. Yet, she kept the warm situation by offering everyone to drink, “Minumlah Kak Pah, Bang Mat. Abang Dan dengan Kak Tini mai duk rapat-rapat sini.”

“Angah ingat dak Abang Ijai (bukan nama sebenar)? Ala, anak sedara Cik Mat. Ampa dulu waktu kecik-kecik panjat pokok rambutan sama-sama! Pi mengai kat tepi Titi Tok Mat, balik lenjun, habih Tok Na meletiaq kat ampa! Ingat lagi dak?”

I nodded, giving a gaze to my Mama. She was smiling to me. So it’s not a really dispice situation, I thought.

“Abang Ijai tu la dah kerja. Dia kerja Bank Islam kat Jitra. Tak tau pulak dia tu akauntan ka apa dia. Tapi dulu dia ada lah mengaji kat UUM Sintok tu. Kesian, bujang lagi.”

Isn’t it becomes more intriguing to read people? I know. Even my mind wondered the same thing at this time. Heartbeat was pulsing for 200 per minute! Okay, let’s continue for more dramatic parts:

“Oh, Angah ingat lagi dia tu. Lama jugak tak jumpa dia. Dia sihat ka Cik Mat?”

“Dia sihat. Baru kemarin ja dia sebut-sebut pasai Angah. Itu pasai lah kami datang.”

I looked at Mama without words.

“Apa yang Ijai sebut-sebut tu Bang Mat?” Mama entered into the conversation.

Yes, I’ve done my part! It was terrible to sit amongst those visitors came to your house you could not tell for a quite while whether they had come just for a chat or on some vital errand like sounding you out about ‘memetik bunga di taman’ and what not.

“Tie, Kak Tini malaih dah nak dengaq Mat dengan Pah ni duk pusing sana-sini. Biaq Kak Tini teruih terang saja lah noh? Kami mai ni hajat nak merisik Angah. Ijai tu suka dia dari kecik. Depa membesaq sama-sama. Ijai tak pernah pulak ada orang lain, yang Kak Tini taulah. Kot-kot lah Angah pun rasa yang sama.”

I stood up from Mama’s ‘kerusi Bali’, felt like going away from this ‘sale-and-purchase’ conversation.

“Angah nak pi mana tu?”

“Angah tak reti lah Cik Tini semua-semua ni. Angah rasa Angah tak patut ada kat sini. Ini perbincangan orang-orang tua. Mama mesti akan beri jawapan yang terbaik. Angah serah kat Mama seratus-peratus. Boleh tak Mama?”

I was then going inside my room; still feeling used to listen but couldn’t hear anything. So I sat silently, alone and started to cry. ‘How am I going to face Ijai this Raya?’ I bear that in mind. No one is going to be forever young. Forever 21 are spreading to everyone with false hope! I am turning 22 this year. Can you stop that?

I liked him. He was just a brother. I remember many such nights when he sat on Tuk’s house stairs and calling us to come outside the house. He brought along his harmonica and entertained us with slow love tunes. I fled with the rhythm. Childhood’s affairs are not gonna last for forever. Started from ‘akil baligh’ period, you would make a shift to dodge from sitting arm to arm, so from hugging like you used to when you were kids for a family portrait or what not. Right? He is a part of the family, again, a brother. Do you ever feel any weird affection towards your brother? Never!

“Angah, Cik Pah dengan semua nak balik dah. Keluar, salam semua tetamu.”

I couldn’t catch either there was a bad or good settlement between our family and the guests but I was really hope for all good things only.

“Mama cakap apa dengan Cik Pah?”

“Malam ni Mama bagitahu.”

I went for a bathe, just after done, I entered my room and there was a letter trapped in the edge of my mirror:

‘Kepada Angah, anak Mama,

Anak Mama dah besar. Sampai ada yang datang merisik hari ni. Mama agak terkejut, tak sangka pada usia Angah 22 tahun ada yang sudah datang bertanya, sungguh Mama terkejut. Ini bukan mengenai Ijai, walau siapa sekali yang datang bertanyakan Angah, Mama tidak akan kata YA kerana Mama belum bersedia. Untuk melepaskan Angah pergi dengan seseorang dalam masa terdekat ini bukanlah sesuatu yang boleh diterima akal. Dan hati seorang ibu ini masih belum mampu melihat Angah menanggung tanggungjawab sebagai seorang isteri, ianya berat. Dan Mama tahu Angah punya cita-cita. Teruskanlah dalam perjuangan Angah. Tiada apa yang lebih penting selain itu dalam masa yang terdekat ini. Tapi Mama percaya akan qada’ dan qadar. Anak Mama bakal dibawa orang satu hari nanti. Mama redha. Angah janganlah risau. Mama tahu kesukaanmu, yang serasi bagi kamu, yang boleh membimbing kamu, yang sentiasa menang melawan kedegilanmu. Mama mahu yang terbaik bagi kamu.’

Isk isk!

Is this a true story? YOU DECIDE ;P

7 comments:

AimanAriffin said...

God. I love how you story this whole out.

Anyways back to ur situation. WHOA! So scary! lols. I wonder what would happen if your mom say "yes"

sigh such a scary thought lol anyways u have a cool mother u know that?

Kuncup Here said...

Gosh i was like reading a novel when reading your blog dude! Ahaa guess that u should be a writer rather than a lawyer! LOL

Oh one more, it is a true story of yours? Like seriouslyyy? Dah ade org merisik kau? Maigad!!

farahalinarosli said...

sheriel!!!!!!!! ina pernah rasa moment nie... kahkahkah boley gelak tergolek-golek.

Sheriel Aizan said...

@AimanAriffin, if she say yes, it would be a YES for me too :D

@KuncupHere, is that an honest statement? hahahaha like seriously, haiyap! halamak! forgot that I should have looked the ring firstttt!!!

@farahalinarosli, kannnnnn, hahaha, rasa macam sudah tua!!!!

Berto said...

anak emak. hehe

HEROICzero said...

alololo dah besa dah diaaa. HAHA.

=)

kan? Ibu tahu mana yang baik utk anak2 dia.

settle.

Sheriel Aizan said...

@berto, hekleh, wa confirm lu pun mommy's boy jugak! :D

@heroic, hahaha! dah tua dah saya! ;p really! the one who carried you tirelessly for 9 months, she would know us better than ourselves :)