This is how it feels to be me.
Imagine yourself standing on the wrong side of a high brick wall. You know it is dangerous to be on that side, you may fall or you may 'commit suicide' as there, beneath, the slope, then it brings you to flowing river.
It is the only chance for you to feel the air, to feel the fun of sliding, to feel how cool the water. To experience everything. To assess the goods and bads. So to learn.
Sudden, it's raining. You don't have a ladder. And it's getting dark.
You keep walking, taking baby steps, for being too cautious.
Hello, dear. Are you okay?